How do you make it work? OMG how do we make it work?
Being in a long distance relationship means doubling challenges. You need a strong sense of commitment and dedication to overcome all the obstacles that come your way. As much as it sounds like a cliche, it is true that there are two very important factors that we always need to keep in mind:
Love & Trust
There will be personal dilemmas, attitude differences, career options and many other reasons that may affect your feelings and mindsets. Anything can technically cause an argument, can make you feel uncomfortable and let you get hurt. Now, the real challenge is how to deal with all these things. Take note that it's not just about loving and trusting each other - it's also about coping up with each other.
Here are some things that Alex Polar Bear and I are doing to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. We are still learning a lot from each other and I know that what we're doing now will still evolve depending on how things turn out. Now our current state is being far away from each other. It won't be for long but it will still be a few more months of separation.
I am focused on couples dealing with LDRs, however these are simple yet generalized tips. It means everyone can do it! Yep, yes you ^_^ Even if you're simply sitting down beside your man, or he's a few blocks down the road in his own home, this is still important and effective advice that you can try out yourself ;) This doesn't mean that only you have to do it. Both you and your beau should have good and positive practices to make it work.
Now here are a few things ^.^
❤ Open communication. Keep the lines open all the time. Never put a barrier between you and your partner. This tackles a very wide aspect in which trust plays a very vital role. Be honest to your partner all the time, and vice versa. Share your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings, your plans and what's going on. Don't make the other feel like you're hiding anything from them.
When Polar Bear and I started dating, it is one of the things that we made sure we always do. Complete honesty. He tells me his plans for the day and where he's going and who he is with. I do the same, and share him my ideas and what I will be doing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to invade each other's privacy. It's simply having nothing to hide - after all we are one.
❤ Always be considerate and understanding. This one is very hard, and I think this is also one that requires a lot of maturity. When your partner tells you something that is not acceptable by your standards or is disagreeable to your opinions, always look at both sides. Before you react and go crazy over it, sit back and think. Why did he say it? What did he really mean? Boys are more of A is A, B is B; whereas girls are A is B, C and Z. Also, never judge! While it may not be acceptable, try to figure out why he likes raisins instead of chocolates. Try to realize that his opinions matter too. However, this doesn't mean condoning wrong deeds. You don't need to be passive when your man says he just cheated on you, now that's a different story.
Polar Bear and I have so many differences - from language and culture, to morals, and beliefs. Growing up from different countries and having different environments we definitely have many ideas that tend to clash. While we both love anime and playing online games is fun, we tend to argue about real-life things. Our solution? Become more understanding. We're still in the process of accepting that each other's opinions hold the same value, and we also need to consider each other's feelings. Our relationship is not one-sided. It's about us, not just me nor just him. We are still on rough terrain when it comes to this particular challenge but we know we can make it! I still tantrum a lot tho, LOL
❤ Compromise. Ah yes! The magic word that means "let's meet half way"! This comes hand in hand with being understanding. There will be things that you really can't meet halfway on. It's time to learn to give in. Nope, this doesn't mean always give in! The both of you should be logical, rather than emotional. Is this attitude or idea worth giving up? If you don't give it up, is it worth the eternal arguments, heartaches, and hatred? If the answer is no, let it go. There is no point in keeping your pride just for the sake of having pride. It's not something to be proud of and such an attitude is simple arrogance. Now this also doesn't mean only you should give in! Both you and your man should be kind and selfless. Again, a relationship is about the two of you and not just one. Talk to your guy and make it clear that you both have valuable opinions, and that it's a give-and-take relationship.
I love posting bikini photos. I'm a certified beach bum and I like colorful bikinis that match my hair or new sunglasses. It's just like any other fashion obsession that I have. Alex Polar Bear's take on that is different. He isn't comfortable having me post bikini photographs for other people (and men) to see. It was a long debate and I had a different perspective on the matter. To cut it short, I gave up on my argument. It's not like I will die if I don't post bikini photos. I can still wear them at the beach anyways (with a sarong on top). It's not worth making him feel bad while I do it. I don't want to hurt him so why do it? It's my compromise and I don't feel bad about it because I know that if I ask him to do or stop doing something, we can come to agree on it.
Being in a long distance relationship means doubling challenges. You need a strong sense of commitment and dedication to overcome all the obstacles that come your way. As much as it sounds like a cliche, it is true that there are two very important factors that we always need to keep in mind:
Love & Trust
There will be personal dilemmas, attitude differences, career options and many other reasons that may affect your feelings and mindsets. Anything can technically cause an argument, can make you feel uncomfortable and let you get hurt. Now, the real challenge is how to deal with all these things. Take note that it's not just about loving and trusting each other - it's also about coping up with each other.
Here are some things that Alex Polar Bear and I are doing to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. We are still learning a lot from each other and I know that what we're doing now will still evolve depending on how things turn out. Now our current state is being far away from each other. It won't be for long but it will still be a few more months of separation.
I am focused on couples dealing with LDRs, however these are simple yet generalized tips. It means everyone can do it! Yep, yes you ^_^ Even if you're simply sitting down beside your man, or he's a few blocks down the road in his own home, this is still important and effective advice that you can try out yourself ;) This doesn't mean that only you have to do it. Both you and your beau should have good and positive practices to make it work.
Now here are a few things ^.^
❤ Open communication. Keep the lines open all the time. Never put a barrier between you and your partner. This tackles a very wide aspect in which trust plays a very vital role. Be honest to your partner all the time, and vice versa. Share your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings, your plans and what's going on. Don't make the other feel like you're hiding anything from them.
When Polar Bear and I started dating, it is one of the things that we made sure we always do. Complete honesty. He tells me his plans for the day and where he's going and who he is with. I do the same, and share him my ideas and what I will be doing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to invade each other's privacy. It's simply having nothing to hide - after all we are one.
❤ Always be considerate and understanding. This one is very hard, and I think this is also one that requires a lot of maturity. When your partner tells you something that is not acceptable by your standards or is disagreeable to your opinions, always look at both sides. Before you react and go crazy over it, sit back and think. Why did he say it? What did he really mean? Boys are more of A is A, B is B; whereas girls are A is B, C and Z. Also, never judge! While it may not be acceptable, try to figure out why he likes raisins instead of chocolates. Try to realize that his opinions matter too. However, this doesn't mean condoning wrong deeds. You don't need to be passive when your man says he just cheated on you, now that's a different story.
Polar Bear and I have so many differences - from language and culture, to morals, and beliefs. Growing up from different countries and having different environments we definitely have many ideas that tend to clash. While we both love anime and playing online games is fun, we tend to argue about real-life things. Our solution? Become more understanding. We're still in the process of accepting that each other's opinions hold the same value, and we also need to consider each other's feelings. Our relationship is not one-sided. It's about us, not just me nor just him. We are still on rough terrain when it comes to this particular challenge but we know we can make it! I still tantrum a lot tho, LOL
❤ Compromise. Ah yes! The magic word that means "let's meet half way"! This comes hand in hand with being understanding. There will be things that you really can't meet halfway on. It's time to learn to give in. Nope, this doesn't mean always give in! The both of you should be logical, rather than emotional. Is this attitude or idea worth giving up? If you don't give it up, is it worth the eternal arguments, heartaches, and hatred? If the answer is no, let it go. There is no point in keeping your pride just for the sake of having pride. It's not something to be proud of and such an attitude is simple arrogance. Now this also doesn't mean only you should give in! Both you and your man should be kind and selfless. Again, a relationship is about the two of you and not just one. Talk to your guy and make it clear that you both have valuable opinions, and that it's a give-and-take relationship.
I love posting bikini photos. I'm a certified beach bum and I like colorful bikinis that match my hair or new sunglasses. It's just like any other fashion obsession that I have. Alex Polar Bear's take on that is different. He isn't comfortable having me post bikini photographs for other people (and men) to see. It was a long debate and I had a different perspective on the matter. To cut it short, I gave up on my argument. It's not like I will die if I don't post bikini photos. I can still wear them at the beach anyways (with a sarong on top). It's not worth making him feel bad while I do it. I don't want to hurt him so why do it? It's my compromise and I don't feel bad about it because I know that if I ask him to do or stop doing something, we can come to agree on it.
❤ Be his strength. It is usual that a girl is expected to depend on her man. Modern women try to fight that but I honestly don't really see the need for excessive independence. Once you engage yourself in a committed relationship, especially marriage, you dedicate a part of you to your partner. Like I previously said, it's not about you anymore. It's about you, him and your family. There will come a time that your man will encounter a big problem, a depressing situation or a confusing state. Comfort him and be give him empowerment. You are there to support each other and now is the time to show your support. Never make him feel stupid. Never belittle him. Never take advantage of him. You are his equal, so he should never do the same to you. It's wrong on all counts. Be there when he needs you and be his angel. Some women tend to run away from these situations calling their men weak. Remember, you're both humans so don't expect him to be an almighty super powerful hero.
I am an independent girl. I earn my money, I am outspoken, I basically do what I want and I know what I want. I don't want anyone's help but then when I met Alex Polar Bear I depended a part of me on him. He did the same to me. He's a very strong and reliable man with firm principles. Needless to say, he is amazing! However there would be times that he needs to fight his own devils and that's when I need to be there for him. Despite the distance I assure him that he can depend on me. I show him that I care and that I always will.
Always remember that you are each other's strength.
Now I know that not all couples are a match made in heaven. Not all partners are open-minded and many others are probably dating the bad-boy who don't really want any compromise. This advice goes for both girls and guys. To cut it short, don't be stupid! You need not do any of this if your man doesn't show you any support or respect at all.
A healthy relationship will thrive if it is a two-way interaction. Both of you should be giving and understanding towards each other. If you feel like you're in the wrong relationship where you can't honestly say your feelings, where there is always doubt and jealousy, where you can't agree on a compromise and neither of you is any of willing to give up certain things - then you better restart thinking if you're up for it.
It's better to wait than to end up with the wrong person.
Been there, done that. Ouch.
It's never impossible for you to meet your own bear! I met mine during one of my darkest days and he's my white polar bear knight... :3
xoxo
~ Honey Bear & Polar Bear ~
Contact : kimistarr@photographer.net | Travel Blog : Kimi Goes Places | Official : KimiStarr.Net
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