Cry. Just When It's Too Much

I can't cry. Not in front of you.

In a place that's thousands of miles away from home, is a place that I also now call home.

Flying all the way across the Pacific to come here was my biggest challenge. Leave the country I love and my comfort zone which is my family was something I never planned for in my life. Traveling is a part of me, but moving permanently in foreign soil is completely different.

It's been two months since I arrived in the USA. Everything seemed to be going well, until a month later things seem to be spiraling down. There have been changes in work, environment, and everything else.

The emotions are taking its toll.

But what to do? What should I do??

Alex Bear is a strong man. He is a man of virtue, integrity and honesty. I have always adored his principles, his being responsible, and his will. Behind this almost invincible image is a soft and kind husband. Like me, there is a fragile piece that lies within our hearts.

I've sealed my fragile piece a long time ago. As emotional as I am, I try not to get broken. It's had to be strong all the time tho. But right now, I can't cry. I have to be reliable. Strong. Courageous.

I have to cry.

xoxo

~ Honey Bear ~

Contact : kimistarr@photographer.net | Travel Blog : Kimi Goes Places | Official : KimiStarr.Net | Starr&Sparkle Shoppe

We're Almost There

Oh Hai Lovelies!

I'm supposed to be napping by now, but then I just have a few thoughts running in my head. I'm almost done with my medical exam (which I will post about this week) and I will be having my interview in about two weeks.

It seems like time is so slow, but at the same time so fast! We've just celebrated our first year but in a few days we're already a year and a month old. Things just keep getting better.

We're going through a lot of things - awesome moments, struggles, frustrating distance and many more. The best thing about it is that we're both working on it to make things right. I have so much more to write about, but right now they're just stuck in mind. I guess I'll keep them there in the mean time.

Almost getting there...

Just a bit more wait and I'll be with my Polar Bear - baking cakes, cooking good food, making art and keeping him happy. At the same time I will be missing my family so much but I know things will turn out perfect. I'm sure there will be more rocks and bumps along the way, but I'm hopeful.

Mmm... okay, I guess I'll have to sleep now. More updates to come! I still owe two more topics ^.^

xoxo

~ Honey Bear ~

Contact : kimistarr@photographer.net | Travel Blog : Kimi Goes Places | Official : KimiStarr.Net | Starr&Sparkle Shoppe

Musing as The Petition Gets... Approved!

Yesterday afternoon, I went out to pay for my beauty purchases. I dropped by BPI and waited for a bit, with everyone discreetly staring at my purple-pink hair. I was supposed to blog this yesterday too, but I was pretty busy. After I deposited about $60, I went to HBC to look for some nail polish.

"I saw her at the bank a while ago..." I heard one of the sales ladies tell the others.

"Oh, look at her hair, so cool..." they continued talking about me. It should feel awkward but I'm used to it so I shrugged it off and continued checking out the colors. One sales lady followed me like a shadow so I decided to just get a white lacquer and leave. It's really annoying to be followed like that.

I walked towards Mercury Drugstore, just a few blocks away. Cavite City is a small place and I can literally walk around it in maybe two hours or three. Everyone, as usual, stared at me while I passed by; and I tried my best to listen to their whispers. It's honestly amusing to hear people's reactions. I feel like a unicorn because I'm different.

You won't be so different when you get to the USA, dearie...

I once told Alex that people won't be staring at me anymore once I'm there. However, living not in California or New York, chances are I'd still be stared at. So... no it won't really be so different.

I kept walking and many thoughts flashed in my head... I'll miss the kwek-kwek or tokneneng (hard-boiled quail eggs dipped in batter and fried crispy), and of course my favorite buko juice (coconut juice). I just went past the vendors located a few meters from Mercury Drugstore. I loved buying there, I'm sure Kuya (big brother -> referring to the vendor) recognized me.

I paused for a bit and looked across the main road... Jollibee, new restaurants being built and somewhere near there are new malls being constructed, roads being widened... I'll miss this city. It's not the best place in the world, I know, but it's home. Then I know there's also another home waiting for me.

It's with my bear...

Mini Honey Bear Bear trying out Big Polar Bear's glasses!