Polar Honey Bears: I'm Marrying For A Green Card

I'm marrying my fiance to get a free green card and live the American dream! I can't wait to leave my stinky, filthy country. This is my chance!!

NOTE : Before getting all butt hurt and defensive, please note the satire in my statement and proceed reading. Thank you!

I know that many people have been longing for me to finally drop the bomb - show my true intentions for being in a relationship with a foreigner. In fact, I know that many people already assume that - even if I previously and have always said that I'm not marrying to get out of the country.

"Oh, you're with an American? That's great you could finally go to the USA!"

"Ah.. why won't you stay with a local guy? You don't really belong to them, unless you want to leave."

"OMG finally an American! He will buy you stuff, go ask him to buy you more stuff!!"

"That's great you're now going to have white babies, amazing!"

"Oh make sure you get a Green Card asap."

"When you're there you're gonna see more good looking guys! More fish, yay!"

Seriously?

These are some of the common remarks that I get when someone finds out that I'm dating an American. In fact, I'm not alone - almost everyone who is dating a western man (or at least a foreigner gets these comments).

Guess what? It's really, really offending.

I love Alex. I love my Polar Bear and I love him dearly. It doesn't matter where we end up living ^_^

It's already a common notion that Asians and Mexicans only intend to marry a foreigner so that they can go to another country, live a good life and have a free visa. Effortless. However, it's not always the case. I also know that some people will say - "ah there she does, defending herself!" Well, of course I'm defending myself and the other women who are subjected to abuse and hatred because of a stereotype that isn't applicable to everyone. I won't deny the fact that there are opportunistic women out there who will elude men. At the same time, there are also opportunistic men who will just use women.

Now, I would like to share a few things about our relationship - which is the similar to many other women who actually fall in love with people who aren't from the same culture or race.

I don't want a Green Card. My family and close friends know that. I never planned to migrate to the USA. In fact, I've always wanted to stay in the Philippines for the rest of my life. I belong here - to my tropical islands. I never planned to migrate anywhere, actually. I've thought of working somewhere but in the end - I would be coming home here - my country - but things change. I met Alex Polar Bear and all my plans took a swift turn.

I am negotiating a "Tropical Retirement". With the first item being said - I still insist to Alex that we should move here when we're old. I know it's a very long... LONG... long term plan but hey it's something to consider. I don't know how life will be in the next decades and how our life will turn out but his home is my home, and my home is his. Our home here in PH can always be a good rest and vacation place.

Stop giving me the "OMG now you can go leave the country!" comments. It's really annoying. It makes me feel like the only reason I'm marrying a foreigner is so that I can go somewhere. Guess what? I can always buy my own tickets and travel around and leave the country. I have before and I can again. I never want to leave for good, the Philippines will always be a part of me. It's really insensitive to say such things, it's like me saying that "oh great now you have a partner to extort and launder!"

Oh but you're just with him so he can buy you stuff, right? Admit it. No I'm not admitting anything that's not true. Alex Polar Bear buys me gifts when he wants to. When I want something and he buys it for me, I pay him back. Oh right, let me say that again I PAY HIM BACK in dollars $$$. We've argued about this before but we've come to a compromise that I will pay him back all the time unless he decides to give me a gift. Why? It's my pride.

I have too much pride. Yes I have too much pride running in my veins. I don't like asking for help. I don't like looking useless. Which all boils down as to why I can't do what some people (both here and in the US) are accusing me. I have too much pride to do something that will ruin my integrity. I have a job, I finished a degree from one of the best universities - and I am not going down as someone who's just using another person for profit.

OMG, now you're gonna have white babies! Correction - mixed. We're going to have mixed babies. And uh, yeah I won't deny this one. Mixed babies are so cute and cuddly!!! Ha ha ha. True, one of the reasons I want my bear is so I can mother his spawn. Errr... sounds like a game. Playing too much GW.

You'll find more white boys in the US, OMG it's your chance. Uh-uh... more white boys. Of course there's more of them there. That's where they came from. Do you want me to send you one in a box? I'll see how much shipping will cost you. You know, I'm not going there just to get there. I'm not planning to get divorced and find another guy. I'm way over the trial-and-error scene and as far as I can tell, I hated it. I'm settling with the best man I've ever met - that's why I'm marrying him and I'll be with him forever.

Whew! Okay, now that's about it! If I missed anything please let me know. I'd be more than happy to discuss things with you. Before you assume that someone is dating a foreign man for money or visa purposes, think again. Some people are actually capable of falling in love! Can you believe that? Oh wow, well yes it does exist still, apparently.

It's just very unfortunate because it's true that many people just use each other for personal gain. There's also a reason for having this kind of stereotype - because many women have done it before. I abhor them, really. They're the same as the illegal workers in other countries which makes traveling for legit travelers like me very hard!

Now, for people who are still skeptical I owe you no further explanations. In fact, I owe you none at all. I decided to write this to bring some light, I just find it unfair to be drowned in false accusations for such a long time. I cannot change your mind. I've always told Alex, when someone doesn't like something, no matter what you tell them it will always be not convincing enough.